


Shaking Apart in the After

by Areiton



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Aftermath, Coda, Dean Centric, Emotional Cas, Episode: s12e09 First Blood, M/M, look i really just needed this, pinning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-27
Updated: 2017-01-27
Packaged: 2018-09-20 04:33:30
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 652
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9475859
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Areiton/pseuds/Areiton
Summary: It's a simple slide of arms and the tuck of Cas's head into the curve of Dean's neck. The press of his body, so strong and capable, huddled against Dean.





	

**Author's Note:**

> A fast and (likely) dirty (not THAT way) coda because I really just needed this after that episode. <3

Sam was sleeping, curled against the door of Mom's car. They'd been driving for four hours, and he'd fallen off maybe two hours ago, a restless twitchy sleep that worried Dean.

Neither of them needed more demons to bear, more fucking scars, but Sam—god he wishes he could have spared Sam all of this.

The thing is, he couldn't believe it. They were alive, against all odds. He was finally beginning to think it was real, beginning to breath because there'd be consequences--there were _always_ consequences, but for right now, they were free and Sammy was alive, Mom was alive and Cas--

He slides a look at the other man. He's been so quiet that Dean could almost believe he was sleeping. Except Cas doesn't sleep and he's so tense Dean is a little surprised he hasn't shattered.

He killed.

For them. And Dean knows.

God, he _knows_ , ok. He's known for years. He's not as stupid as he let's people think and he knows what the angel has done for them. The endless sacrifices, how Cas chose them--him--over and over and over. He knows that for every time the angel leaves, there's a return, a little bit more relieved each time. He knows what that damn smile, small and sassy and impossibly sweet means.

He _knows_.

But he's ignored it. Easier than facing the truth that they've both been carefully avoiding for years.

Can't use it against them if they don't acknowledge it.

Heaven might know what Cas is willing to do for Dean Winchester, Hell and Purgatory might be intimately aware of how dangerous Dean is when separated from the angel, but if they just ignore it, they're safe.

Except.

Cas just _killed_ for them.

He looks like hell--as bad as he did in purgatory--and he is sitting a few inches from Dean and he's _shaking_ , this subtle tremble that is fucking killing Dean.

_The world needs you. **You mean too much to me**._

God. He remembers saying similar words to Cas, in that fucking crypt, a lifetime ago. Remembers the words he couldn't force out, the ones he meant.

And he heard them, in Cas's desperate voice as he stood with a bloody angel blade and begged for the lives of his family.

And now, that strong warrior of God is shaking and just.

Fuck it.

Dean shifts on the seat, enough that Mary flicks a look at him but he's had two goddamn months of solitude and a day from literal hell and he didn't feel _right_ until he hugged the rumpled angel in the woods and dammit, they deserve this.

He ignores his mother and his sleeping brother and draws the shaking angel into his arms. Cas makes a noise, all wounded animal frightened and Dean hums a low note in his hair as he tucks the other man against him.

They've never done this, but it's....

God, it's easy.

It's a simple slide of arms and the tuck of Cas's head into the curve of Dean's neck. The press of his body, so strong and capable, huddled against Dean, shaking in the circle of his arms. The hot wet press of lips and tears into his throat and his name, whispered like a plea and a prayer, a choked thing that breaks Dean's heart just a little more.

He tightens his grip on Cas and the angel breaks, sobbing silently into his skin as he clings to Dean, all those stupid boundaries forgotten. He ignores his mother in the front seat and he presses a kiss to the angel's impossibly soft hair, and murmurs the words that they use instead of the ones neither can ever say.

He thinks it's gonna work out, because they know.

They _know_ , ok.

So he presses the words into Cas's forehead and Cas--he slowly sinks into Dean, understanding.

"Ok, Cas. Ok. I'm home." 


End file.
